My son

I thought I had everything figured out I was going to cosmetology school and had an awesome boyfriend. All I had to worry about was school and what I was going to wear to the next party. That summer was the best my boyfriend and I would have parties at his place and BBQ all the time. I didn’t really worry too much about what was going to happen in a year or even a month. After the summer I realized I didn’t really like cosmetology as much as I thought, so I went back to community college. I was torn between teaching and doing hair; finally I went back for teaching. Everything was going good I was off and on going to classes, and still having parties, I thought why worry.

            I remember the night so clearly I had been feeling weird for about a month and decided to take a pregnancy test. My boyfriend was right next to me, my heart beating like a drum. I starred at the test waiting its results, with each breath I felt more and more nervous. I thought of so many things the results came up in two minutes and in that time my whole life was flashing before me. My boyfriend and I had talked about marriage, and having a beautiful wedding a planned wedding. Then it came up one line which meant negative we hugged and said that we did want children but later. We hugged to soon it took a couple more seconds and the second line appeared it was positive.

            My free-living life was gone, I was pregnant and I wasn’t ready. I dreaded telling my parents, I didn’t know what to do. The time finally came and we know that we had to let our family know and start the process of doctors and appointments. We both were already at a mature age, now it was time to get mature. The news to our family wasn’t as

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horrible as I thought it would be, and our big wedding was now going to be small and only family. It was time to get my priorities straight and really look at what needed to be done in order for me to be the mother I wanted to be. The hard part was over now, it was time to plan, read and plan some more. If I only knew that telling my family and planning wasn’t going to be the hardest part.

I had gone through months of preparation, reading books and watching shows. I gathered as much advice as I could from family and friends. That could not prepare me for what I was going to do. Now it was time to bring my son into the world. I was nervous, anxious, and relieved to get my body back. With all of my research and planning I thought I knew what to expect.

            I was in the hospital bed for one day before the actual pregnancy. One day felt like years going by. It was like your watching a mystery movie and your about to find out who did when, it stops. My husband was more help than most of those nurses, after a couple of hours he knew that room inside and out. I was ready, and tired of just waiting as nurse after nurse walks in with words of “Just relax.” I didn’t want to relax! At this point I felt like I was going to be pregnant for another nine months.

            I was so thankful that my husband so understood the whole time. He stayed by my side through it all. I felt terrible that he had one small faded blue couch to lie on. This couch was child’s size and for a six foot man, not the most comfortable. Not to say that the hospital bed was better, the sheets were paper-thin. The room was cold and plastic. We had one small television that couldn’t play but five channels. I remember that the Lakers were in the play offs and we had I Love Lucy as entertainment. At night it was

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either cold or hot, not the best temperatures. Than 11:30 at night came the worst roller coaster of pain of my life.

            Here we go I thought and what the heck! Really, I was supposed to concentrate on breathing. Once I got the first roll of pains the no medication plan went out the window. My husband rang for the nurse. As she was trying to calm me down and tell me the advantages of natural birth I uttered, I want the epidural! After the shot the pain left, but it made me sick. There were some problems and I just remember all the nurses filtering in the room. My sons heart had stopped for almost a minute, I was terrified. The rest of the night they kept a close eye on me and everything seemed back to normal.

 I woke up the next morning, still waiting. The doctor walks in, she tells me “We have to do and emergency C-section.” I had the choice to give natural birth but at the risk that my son wouldn’t make it. I put all my feelings aside and said, “Ok I’m ready.” At that moment I was trying not to worry my husband or myself. I tried to stay composed; my hands were shaking like a rattle in a Childs hand. I couldn’t see anything but the nurse and my husband. Minutes later I heard my husband gasp and a cry. I looked to my right and there was my son, his eyes wide open. My husband told me that he umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. Thank God that the doctor made the decision for the C-section, I thought my little miracle.

            As I held my son in my arms all the pain was worth it. I knew right then my life had changed forever. I couldn’t stop smiling he looked so angelic and perfect. I had so many feelings going through my head. I was so happy, relieved, and shocked. All of a sudden panic set in. Did I have everything? Is he going to like his bed? How will I know

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when he wants something? I couldn’t believe I gave birth to my son it was like as dream. I was hoping my motherly instincts would get me through it all.

            As family came in and hours went on I knew everything was going to be fine. Reflecting back I can say that this experience matured me fast. I knew I wanted to finish school and my priorities were all on my son Jacob. All the little things that I thought were so important seemed so petty. I was now a parent and things would never be the same again. I was right it is better. I love my family and my son is my inspiration for everything I do. At times days are hectic, than my son looks at me with a smile on his face. Those are the moments that make me stronger, proud, and I know I can accomplish my goal, and anything life throws at me.